


Krampus’s Biggest Fan

by artistocrazy



Series: The Demon Family AU [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Carmen Fernandez Carriedo, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Costume Kink, F/M, Family Fluff, Habsburg pair, Implied Sexual Content, Krampus - Freeform, Other, Roland Edelstein - Freeform, Spanking, roderich edelstein - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27924499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artistocrazy/pseuds/artistocrazy
Summary: Part of the Demon Family AU.As you might have expected, Roderich and Carmen eventually do decide to settle down and get married, starting a life together in the United States once both have gained more substantial reputations.Before Roland grows up to be the flamboyantly self-obsessed, gothic bisexual disaster that we know and love, he was a little boy whose family entertained his spooky fancies.
Relationships: Austria/Spain (Hetalia)
Series: The Demon Family AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1183373
Kudos: 4





	1. Possessed or Obsessed?

**Author's Note:**

> Warning - the last chapter leans more suggestive (nothing too explicit, but you’ll know it when you see it), but most of this is domestic fluff.

_November, 2004_

  
“I think our son might be possessed.”

Roderich peered up from his desk, pausing his grading and adjusting his reading glasses to see his wife better. Carmen stood in front of him, hardly having taken that bright red coat off, as if it were hardly a thought compared to this conversation.

Clicking his pen closed, he adjusted his posture and met her eyes with curious concern. “What makes you say that?”

“I met with his teacher today,” she began rummaging through her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper. “She was worried about this drawing he did for a project on personal heroes. What do you think of this?” Carmen asked with a pointed flick of the paper as she handed him the doodle.

“Oh, wow,” he mumbled, adjusting his glasses in surprised awe at the creature. Roland hardly spared any detail on the shaggy fur and horns.

“You don’t find this concerning?” Carmen asked, alarm seeping into her voice regarding his lack of a flinch.

“Roland drawing scary things? When _hasn’t_ he done that?” The Austrian peeked back up dryly before looking back down to observe the doodle like he might a new score. “Though his improvement is startling.”

Cocking her head to the side, Carmen let out a disturbed chuckle that barely masked her frustration. “And this one _doesn’t_ freak you out for coming from a five year old?”

“It’s just Krampus,” her husband shrugged. “A very good drawing of Krampus, if I do say.”

“Krampus? Oh, well, that’s a relief,” Carmen turned around to take off her coat and throw up her hands, sarcasm heavily lacing her voice, before she dramatically turned back around. “Except what is a krampus!?”

Roderich’s eyes went wide for a second, mostly to register she really had no idea what he was talking about, and he tried so hard to broach the subject delicately. Though the more he spoke, the more his wife observed him in horror.

“Ah, well,” he began, steeping his fingers and hoping to sound as harmless as possible, “it’s an Austrian holiday tradition. St. Nicholas’ other half. Krampus visits the naughty children, where St. Nicholas sees the nice ones. And where St. Nicholas comes with presents and joy and wisdom, Krampus comes with, ummm... a stick, a burlap sack, and - if you weren’t good, you get hit, and... and stuck in the bag and... taken away.”

“ _Roddy!_ ”

“I thought it might scare him into straightening out his behavior!” Rod made his case, explaining himself with some exasperation and following her as she went to hang up her coat. 

“Bebe, _I’m_ scared of it,” she turned around sharply, showcasing the creature in a way she hoped would be for a reality check. “He’s five! You don’t think that was maybe too much for him?”

“Oh, come now,” Roderich brushed off the concern with an assured knit in his brow and a wry smile. “Roland’s a brave boy. Besides, _I_ learned about Krampus around his age,” he argued, “and I was a _good_ egg. I had _little_ to worry about.”

No matter how confident his sounded in that stubborn assertion, Carmen wasn’t buying it. The Spanish lady just stared at him for a moment as if he had grown another head. “You know, sometimes I wonder about what they did to you in Austria.”

“What, you think I’m going to teach him about that silly, little Elf on a Shelf?” The stuffy Austrian answered back, huffy over that crack and barely hiding any contempt for that doll. “If I were his age and my parents used that on me, I would have thrown that wimpy, little thing off the roof, and that’s saying something - I couldn’t just roll myself up the stairs.”

Rolling her eyes as she turned back around, Carmen gave him a dry look and pushed the drawing into his stomach. “Well, now this thing is your son’s hero, and I hope you’re willing to work with him on... that,” she gestured to the paper before recoiling into a shudder. “I can’t even _look_ at it without getting goosebumps.”

She was much too cute when she cared and when she became all protective, and much too funny to pass on teasing her about it. It made her voice sound so musical. Roderich couldn’t help but lightly sass her back. “That is the general point of it, jo,” 

Giving him a little less than light pats on his shoulders and a tight smile, Carmen shook her head before reaching for his cheek. “This is your discussion, Sabelotodo. Get to work.”


	2. Doesn’t Krampus Like Crime?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roderich attempts to solve the problem he’s unwittingly created.

It wasn’t uncommon for Roland to wander into places he maybe shouldn’t to talk to family members, though over the years he took a shine to announcing himself rather than stumble into doing things unnoticed. 

Putting his little stuffed dog on one of the kitchen chairs, Roland started to pull the chair towards the counter. It was the perfect time to open up a conversation while the wooden legs screeched across the floor. “Vati?”

Hitching his shoulders momentarily at the noise while working on the snickerdoodle dough, the Austrian answered his son with that monotoned vati-is-working-in-the-kitchen-and-you-know-you-shouldn’t-be-in-here-with-the-oven-on voice. Similar to the vati-has-a-big-recital voice. “Jo, Roland.”

“How tall is Krampus?”

“183 centis.”

“Oh,” the child let the answer sink in, taking a moment to put the back of the chair against the counter. Climbing onto the seat, the child placed his little friend, Teufel, up on the counter first, before trying to climb up there himself. “What are centis?”

“Centimeters,” the Austrian explained, diverting his attention from the dough and using a towel to assist the boy up. He wouldn’t have been thrilled to leave floury stains on his clothes, or risk finding out the hard way what he may have played in beforehand. “They’re part of the metric system of measurement.”

“What’s the metric system?”

“Another thing your backwards school won’t teach you enough about,” Rod grumbled, flicking away Roland’s curious hands from the mixing bowl like clockwork. “What have I told you about uncooked dough?”

With a sigh, little Roli leaned back and puffed out his cheeks, groaning out a response while swinging his legs from side to side. “Wait for the whisk.”

“And always ask me if I’m done with the mixer before you take it,” Rod sternly added, lightly jabbing his scraping spoon at the boy for emphasis. “Vati’s mixer is not a toy.”

After a moment of watching his father turn the last of the dough with the spoon, Roland’s eyes were briefly transfixed on the bowl. Seeing his son’s wily eyes stare ravenously at all of that cookie dough, Roderich hummed to himself. Prior to the boy walking regularly, Roderich almost forgot what it felt like to have someone look over his shoulder so intently in the kitchen. 

“Did you wash your hands?” The Austrian asked his son over his shoulder, with a lilt in his voice and a rise of his brow.

“Did _you_?” The boy turned his head to his father, so immediately intense that he stopped swinging his legs as he stared at Roderich accusingly.

Not an unusual behavior for the boy, Rod responded by staring right back with that serious stone face. “Jo, genau,” he peered down at the child over the brim of his glasses, blinking through the silence.

Feeling it impossible to remain still for too long, little Roli groaned again and jumped down to the floor to move his chair over to the sink. The Austrian kept a small, triumphant smile to himself before realizing Roland would likely scrape the chair along the floor again and re-sully his grubby, little digits. 

“Hiaza,” the Austrian directed the boy’s attention to the detached whisk, which Roland reached for excitedly, while Rod scooped him up and placed him back on the counter. Keeping a keen ear tilted up as he took his own turn to wash between rolling the dough in sugar, Roderich was pleased the boy hadn’t decided to throw out the whisk and head face-first for the bowl. The Austrian’s warm smile was more apparent this time around, but the boy hardly would have noticed it as he tried to gnaw the dough out of the open spaces. 

“Mind those baby teeth,” Rod sternly reminded the boy, discretely pulling the cinnamon sugar jar closer with a small, doughy mound.

“Is Krampus taller than you?” little Roland asked, breaking their pause. 

“Maybe a little bit,” Roderich shrugged. “I’m about 180 centis, give or take. So that’s maybe, ah... well, let’s see,” he mused, thinking maybe the numbers would be hard to grasp on their own (the boy _did_ just learn three-digit numbers existed), “you‘re almost up to my hip now. That’s a bit more than two of you stacked one on top of the other.”

“Oh,” the boy nodded, trying to signal understanding. 

More quiet passed between them before Roland got to talking again. “What does Krampus like on his plate?”

“What?”

“Santa Claus gets cookies and milk when he visits,” the boy started making his case. “What does Krampus get?”

Turning his attention back to his son, Roderich gave him a perplexed look. “Why should a good boy like you wish to know?”

“Is it a crime to know things?”

Rolling his eyes and slumping his posture for a moment before giving into the conversation, the Austrian reminisced. “Well, my parents left him Schnapps most years for your uncles’ sakes.”

“Oh... what’s Schnapps?”

“Alcohol,” Rod explained, rarely one to sugarcoat much of anything outside of a recipe. “It’s something old people drink.”

“Where can I get it?”

And now Roderich had dropped the dough, not quite sure how to handle such a question. He took a subtle breath to keep from taking that sort of question out of proportion. “What do you mean? Roland, alcohol is for old people. Children can’t get it. _That_ would be a crime.”

The child steeped his hands as his next question came out, and just as Roderich had gotten his hands back in the dough. “Does that mean, if I get it, Krampus will come see me?”

It was moments like this that amazed Roderich, just to recognize the level of patience he’d developed to meet this situation. It also made him thankful Roland couldn’t see how hard he’d squeezed the mound of dough he had for the next cookie, just for the sake of not laughing out of shock.

“Roland, that’s a _crime_ ,” Roderich pressed the point again, trying to reform the ball he’d had not a moment ago. “The _police_ might come see you first and take Mamá or Vati away. Do you really want that?”

“I really want to see Krampus, Vati.”

He had no idea how to explain this to Carmen, and within a moment he huffed and put on the disappointed teacher voice. 

“Roland Franz,” he began, placing a toweled hand on his hip, “you would really put your mother or I on the line just to see Krampus? What if he took one of us in your stead?”

“Psh!” the boy trilled his lips, as if to make fun of how ridiculous his father was being about the whole thing. “I’d _fight_ him to get you _back_!”

Roderich leaned down and narrowed his eyes at the boy, just to give him a moment to think about what he was saying. “You would put your parents in danger just for the chance to fight a six foot tall goat demon?”

Little Roli, with his cute toy dog, shrugged at the idea without a second thought, as if it were the most obvious answer in existence. “Who wouldn’t?”

Now how on Earth could Roderich break his son’s spirit over something like that? How couldn’t something so innocent and ill-conceived and optimistic redirect his outlook on the whole affair? How on Earth could Roderich deny his boy the innocent chance at some happiness and self-discovery in his own chaotic way?

“... I’ll take care of the Schnapps,” the Austrian finally relented, wiping his hand clean to massage his temple. “I think this conversation is enough for Krampus to want to see you.”

Thankfully, this was not the reality where Roland would be anything but grateful and overly excited at the whole affair. Then again, that may have been the sugar kicking in from the cookie dough. The boy’s eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped into the widest grin, showing off the spaces from his missing teeth. He seemed like he could blast off from all of that joy, as it seeped into his squeak. “Really?!”

“Jo, I’m pretty convinced this whole discussion qualifies you for a visit. If he didn’t hear it, I’ll write to him for you.” 

Roland’s sugar high and Krampus-high was not what triggered that dull headache. Oh no, it was trying to think of how Mamá Carmen would go along with such a scheme.


	3. Permission Required

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rod and Carmen negotiate a plan and question whether or not they’re good parents.

“You promised him _what_?” Carmen could have jumped out of her nightgown at the idea.

“Well, it wasn’t a promise, really,” Roderich made his case, sliding under the covers before Carmen might think to shun him from the room. “I just told him I could write to Krampus for him, to see if he might stop by. You know how there are children who wait up for Santa Claus? It’s the same idea.”

“But why would you tell him that without talking to me first?”

“You told me this was _my_ problem, remember?”

Seeing her card her hands into her hair, the worried knit in her brow convinced him to drop the sass for a few moments to help her loosen some of the pins holding her bun together.

“Darling, believe me,” he soothed, “if you saw the look on his face when he told me he would fight Krampus to save either one of us, you would have caved in to it, too. At least we can use this as a way to keep better track of his behavior.”

“Bebé, who’s to say he won’t start to act out more leading up to this visit?” Carmen gently looked back to him, concern shining from those green eyes. “You know how his mind works. He can be a tricky one.”

“He’s clever, I’ll give him that,” Rod conceded, gently untangling a couple of curls and massaging her scalp in between. “But he’s only as clever as a five-year-old can be. He’s drawn to our logic. If he goes too far, then he doesn’t get to stay up. If he can’t wait up and Krampus is coming to take either of us away due to his behavior, then he’s not allowed to save us.”

Lifting a hand up to stop him, the Spanish lady turned toward him with a look of shock in her eyes at how wickedly brilliant of an idea it was. “Oh, that is _so_ messed up!”

“Oh, it’s absolutely sick, but consider the fact that he actually wants the chance to save us. If most children his age are moved by the logic of that little rag doll, how should this be so different?”

While she still seemed unsure with her thoughtful pout, Carmen seemed much less abrasive to the idea than at the start. “So you mean like this is just a big game to him?”

“One he seems very thrilled with, and since he’ll likely fall asleep early enough in, there would be very little work on our part afterwards beyond maybe having a drink or two on the couch. Frankly I’m more relieved thinking about Krampusnacht than Christmas.”

“Disculpe,” she paused him, finding a little urgency back in her voice. “There’s a _separate_ night for when Krampus comes?”

“December 5th.”

“A _Sunday_ night?” she protested, though it was very clear it came from a legitimate place of concern rather than an excuse to cancel anything. “You’re gonna drink and have our child stay up on a Sunday night?”

The sass had returned, and he looked over to her with a wry stare. “Do you really think he’ll make it past 9?”

She returned the favor, raising an eyebrow at him that signaled their playful rapport resurfacing. “You wanna bet?”

“Whoever wins gets the first shot?”

With a snorting laugh, Carmen renegotiated the terms through a smile as she fluffed the pillow behind her. “How about whoever loses has to sneak the gifts in after Roland’s asleep? I don’t think we’re going to finish the whole bottle in one night. Dios mío, I don’t want to let you go past 2 shots if you’re teaching concert band tomorrow.”

“There are only so many chairs he can stack, you know,” Roderich argued, leaning to his side on one of his forearms. “It’s not like he knows where the liquor cabinet is. Even if he did, he doesn’t know how to open it, let alone reach it.”

With an unsure hum, Carmen rolled over to face her husband, her curls splaying around in the tumble. “You really think he’ll like this?”

“He’s ecstatic,” Rod affirmed, weaving the hair out of her face and around her shoulder before pulling her in closer for a tender kiss. “This is one of the easiest ways I’ve ever discovered to make him happy. I think we can both agree to that.”


	4. Merrily Awaiting Abduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krampusnacht has come!  
> While little Roland is overjoyed, Carmen is wary of where this is going but doesn’t want to ruin the fun just yet.

And so Roderich and Carmen prepared diligently for Krampus’s anticipated arrival (at least, in keeping up the excitement). 

Really, the evening was otherwise a typical holiday evening. They had picked up the tree the day before and decided to set about decorating it that night. With the warm glow from the fireplace, the household coated the pine with various mementos and ornaments. It helped that Roland was on a sugar kick, circling the tree in a frenzy with the string of lights while Roderich and Carmen unpacked the ornament box.

Putting off decorating the tree was mainly Carmen’s idea, just so she had something to come back to if her boys were going to dwell on goat demons for too long. Really, she was mostly thankful they’d convinced Roland to put his pajamas on more around the clock than around coaxing him to sleep. If the little one had his way tonight, he wouldn’t dream of sleep.

Seeing Roland circle the same height and attempt to run on his tip-toes, Carmen swept in and jogged around the tree with her baby boy to see if she could get the last string of lights. 

“Mí corazón?” she called over her shoulder, comically slowing her run with Roland perched almost overhead squealing laughing. “¡No podemos alcanzar! ¿Un poco de ayuda por favor?”

Peering up from the ornament box at their little show, Roderich snorted a laugh through his nose and got to his feet slowly. “Si, Querida.”

“Schatz?” he switched - one way for their boy to learn both languages, and practice their spouse’s, was by making requests in their own languages - “Darf i bitte meinen Lichtapplikator haben? I muss ihn inspizieren.”

“Moment, bitte,” Carmen grinned mischievously, before she blew a raspberry into the boy’s tummy, eliciting an even louder squealing laugh out of the child. 

Waving them down, Roderich slipped his son out of Carmen’s grasp into freedom to finish the job. This is what the child got for asking for a tall tree, to rival that of the creature. As they circled around, Rod prodded the boy.

“Roland, was denskt du, einen Lichtapplikator ist?”

The little one’s eyes got big for a moment as he tried to process the question. After a moment of silence, the boy diverted to English. “A big word.”

Rod had a feeling he was maybe stretching it, but to be fair the longest word the child probably knew had maybe seven or eight letters at this point. “Not quite the answer I was thinking of, but you’re not wrong. You are placing lights on the tree I can’t reach, and therefore you are my ‘light’ - Licht - ‘applier’ - applikator.”

In a quick moment, the language lesson was cut short. “The string is done,” the boy announced and then gave way to a mumbled pout, “but we missed the top half.”

“That’s okay,” Carmen soothed, coming from the ornament box. “We put a star on the top. There’s a little plug at the end to light it up.”

“Let me do it! Let me do it!” Roland volunteered, kicking a tiny bit and forgetting himself. 

“¡Roli, cuidado!” His mamá warned, extending her hand. “There is a head behind your feet, hijo.” 

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Roderich announced from behind, extending the boy at a further arm’s length from any potential mis-swings of those pendulum-like legs, “and if that rolls down, you’re coming with it.”

“Could he maybe try putting it on from your shoulders?” Carmen suggested, guiding the boy back down while he traced his fingers along the shape and sequins in the star.

“I think we might still be too short,” Roderich observed, looking up at those pesky top branches. “It certainly is wider than I gave it credit for,” the Austrian mused, blowing a few pesky locks of hair out of his face. 

With a gentle sweep of her hand, Carmen gently caressed her husband’s cheek before running that hand through his hair, giving his scalp a sweet scratch with her nails and illiciting a warm smile. “It’s gonna be so beautiful we’ll forget about all the aches of getting it here.”

“Stop kissing!” the little one whined. “Vati’s arms are getting shaky!”

Biting her lip, Carmen retracted her hand to stifle a laugh at her poor husband’s expense, especially seeing that familiar curl in his lip and raised brow, looking up at their boy with some offense. 

“Then put up the star faster,” Rod sassed the boy back. 

“I did it already,” the child inflected back, scarily similar to his father that almost got Carmen to laugh out loud. She would have while Roderich brought the boy back down to the floor to make another quip, until she looked at the tree and brought her hands to her face.

“¡Qué hermosa ya se ve el árbol!” she mewed, trying not to get too misty-eyed so early. “It’s reminds me of the lights in town when I was just a girl. Except everyone was outside,” she laughed to herself. Not every place could be as warm as Seville, but she wouldn’t have known how cozy being inside could be with the sparkly snow all around. 

“And it’s just the beginning. We haven’t even started in on the tinsel and ornaments. But first,” Roderich adjusted his tone to sound more parental as he placed his hands on Roland’s shoulders and adjusted his glasses, “I haven’t finished my inspection.”

Much like his mother, Roland had a penchant for making bizarre faces out of confusion or discomfort, but as soon as a situation made sense he’d have no qualms switching into something else. 

“Teeth?” 

The child’s eyes bugged as he gave a wide, animated grin.

“Breath?”

Roland threw back his head and gargled a little of his own spit while saying “ah”. 

“What a lovely noise,” Rod muttered, his monotoned praise causing Carmen to bite down on her lip while breaking out more ornaments. “Fingernails?”

Roland waved his arms around like an intoxicated bat before his father quickly but gingerly caught them to check his nails.

“You’ll wash them again once I’m done. Hair?”

“Hair?” Both Roli and Carmen piped up at the request.

“But of course,” Roderich explained, allowing a mischievous smile to sneak onto his face as he tugged lightly on the boy’s bangs and the hairs by the nape of his neck. “I need to check its length before Krampus comes. He may not take you right away. Krampus likes to play with pretty, long hair.”

The Austrian peeked up at Carmen with that last phrase, hoping to quietly flirt, but all the comment did was make her grimace in worry and try to bury her neck in her shoulders while she checked that her bun was in place.

“Vati,” the child asked, “Did Krampus ever visit you?”

“No, I was a good boy. I brushed my teeth and are my vegetables and practiced my scales, and did what Oma and Opa asked,” Roderich quickly answered him without a second thought. “Therefore I have never had any trouble with the creature.”

“Well, how will I know if he’s coming if you’ve never seen him?”

“Oh, I never said I hadn’t seen him before,” Rod corrected him. “I just said he never came for me. I have brothers. We would go to parades to see him, and Krampus would ignore me to chase them with sticks and whips and such.”

With a wide-eyed look of concern with how far he was going with this, Carmen was about to ask what the parades were about and to never go to one, before Roland but back in.

“But how do you know he’s coming, Vati?”

“You see, Krampus is a rather large, stalking beast,” Roderich explained, capturing the boy in a web of horrific wonder and allowing his more proper tone to fall away, as if he were committed to telling a ghost story. “His shadow, as you would imagine, looms like a mountain over you, not even counting his horns. A deer- no, no - an elephant couldn’t hope to grow tusks so fearsome. His hooves carry such an immense amount of weight that a gentle step could seem like a stomp. He shakes the earth beneath you, rattles the windows, swings the chandelier - he is that large. But even before you set your eyes on any part of him, you hear the dissonant tones clunk out from his bells.”

“Jingle bells?”

“Ah, no, it’s more like a cow bell. Except it’s probably larger than any cow bell you’ve ever seen,” Rod clarified in his regular cadence, before switching back to that hushed, spookier tone. “It weights almost as much as you, I’m sure. It’s likely bigger than your head. Maybe bigger than my head.”

“Bebé,” Carmen enthusiastically called their attention back over to the tree after catching her breath, “Look what I found!” she announced, and pushed a button on a small, tacky ornament that started ringing out an 80’s-pop sounding chorus:

_If I had one wish,  
_ _Darling come home, I miss you..._

“It’s David!” she showed off that previous, gaudy ornament of the ‘Hoff, not unlike how she might have held up a rattle to Roland as an infant. 

Clearing his throat to check some embarrassment bubbling over, the Austrian straightened his posture and adjusted his glasses before walking back over towards the ornament box, with a corrective “It’s David _Michael_ ” under his breath. 

“And Roli, look who I found! It’s that funny man with the white beard!”

“Try cough tea!” Roland barreled toward the box while Roderich looked wearily over at his wife.

“He’s getting closer,” Carmen shrugged. “Aren’t you proud he’s thinking of your composers?”

“Yes, but I can’t teach him to play the cannon, and I’m still waiting on him to express interest in the nutcracker,” Roderich corrected her, taking a moment to kneel down with her and rummage through their treasure trove of memories. 

Carmen was ready to turn this night back to her wholesome holidays with that storehouse: a metal silhouette of Chrysostomus, a memento of their first year living in Rome, a gift from Romulus Vargas to commemorate their years at his opera company, little handmaid ornaments from Feli and Vino and a couple of other pupils, gifted wedding ornaments, Roli’s first Christmas, and many others. And, if that weren’t enough, enough tinsel that Roland could drown himself in it. Limiting scary creature talk as much as possible until the boy fell asleep, which would hopefully be sooner than later.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Rod's turn to take the boy upstairs, but even if it wasn't he would've asked. There was something oddly adorable about Roli's excitement for seeing Krampus, even as he nodded off under the tree. Hearing him mumble in his sleep, the Austrian couldn’t help but wonder if his son was dreaming about the glorious fight he’d planned out in his head and tried not to react too much at hearing the boy’s tiny threats to the creature if he dared step near his mamá.

Upon coming back down, Rod saw Carmen had already opened up the schnapps. Odd - she never drank. Seeing her fumbling with the bottle was strange. Seating himself down beside her, she quite visibly flinched, nearly spilling her glass on the carpet. Carmen brought her shaky hand to her face. "Lo siento," she started quietly, "my nerves."

"Carmen, darling, what's the matter?"

"It's just... thinking of that creature is... ugh," she shuddered. 

Rod snickered at her, lounging back on the sofa with the glass Carmen poured out for him. "Well, that _is_ the general idea, na?" 

Carmen leaned back with her glass into his side, whimpering slightly at the thought before sighing - a sigh Rod was quick to affectionately return with a hushed chuckle. This Krampus thing had her drained. "What a night."

"What a night, indeed!" Rod immersed himself in reflection while sipping on the schnapps. "Was that not the sweetest thing you have ever seen in your life?" he sighed wistfully. 

"Mmmm, it was cute," Carmen mused. "He looked so happy."

"We should do this again next year!" Rod declared, letting his joy expand. "But bigger. Oh! One of us could dress up!"

"No!" Carmen nearly shouted it, and the two flinched at her volume, nervous they accidentally woke Roli. Upon holding each other and remaining quiet and attentive for a couple moments, Rod returned them back to the conversation at hand.

"You're not telling me you're actually _scared_ of Krampus, are you?" he teased.

Carmen looked bitterly to the floor, with a small pout on her lips. She was so cute when she was trying hard to be brave, the rare occasions it was even needed. And over a mythical creature? Hilarious! 

She mumbled back, "... so what if I am?"

"Aww, Karamell," Rod tried putting a cap on his laughter and coaxed the Spanish lady to hold his side again, "come here." 

Carmen complied, a little cranky, but she eased into resting her head on his chest, giving in to how tenderly her husband stroked her loose curls.

"Darling, you know he'll never get you," the Austrian soothed, whispering down to her, "Krampus is Alpine. I doubt he can swim."

Rod anticipated being smacked for a quip like that, but all Carmen did was whine a little and bury her face into his sweater. "You're a jeeeerk," she mumbled again, the fear more present in her voice. 

This should have been the conversation he anticipated having with Roli, but he would take it.

"Oh, there, there, Schatzi," Rod held her a little tighter, speaking with more confidence than he was used to expressing outside of occasional sarcasm. "Don't worry. No goat demon is going to carry you away while I'm here ... he would surely take me first."

Upon that phrasing, Carmen let out a nervous laugh through her nose as she held him tighter. Rod couldn't help but smile as they lay on the sofa, taking in the dull glow of the holiday lights and the soothing quiet.


	6. Epilogue - Coming Around (Lime)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s hope Roland never sees his mamá kissing...
> 
> Warnings: monster kink, spanking kink, etc.   
> Rod and Carmen are awkwardly kinky, okay? 
> 
> You have been warned 👀

_One year later_

Carmen was finished washing the dishes for the morning when she heard a deep, muffled "Hallöchen" from behind her. To her horror, she saw the goat demon, shaggy fur and horns and bells and all.

Her first response was to grip the frying pan in the sink and hold it like a bat.

" _Diablo! ¡No en esta casa! ¡No vas a tener a mi bebé!_ ” She shouted with wide eyes, ready to swing at the creature. 

As she was about to charge full force at the demon, it held up its hands in fear and defeat and pulled the mask off, "L-Liebchen! _Na! No, no! ¡Carmen, soy yo!_ ¡Es Roderich! You see?"

Once the mask was off and she saw her husband sheepishly looking back at her catching his breath, she slumped her shoulders, dropped the pan in the sink with a loud crash, and walked toward him - whining, swearing, and playfully whipping at him with the towel for the horrid prank.

"Eres un hombre bastardo horrible! Escóndete de mí en la cocina así, ¿quieres? ¿Estás orgulloso, gilipollas? Scare the pants off of _me_ , will you?" She reprimanded him. "You happy with yourself?" 

"Thrilled,” her husband grinned brightly, flashing those teeth. “I at least know _Roland_ will love it," he teased, now opening himself up to more little whacks. 

Carmen switched to half-heartedly whacking him in the chest, "Well, _I'm_ still mad at you."

"Oh, come now. Stop it. At least now you know it's me and we won't ruin the illusion for Roland by you killing me," he joked.

"This is me trying to kill you now," She mumbled, pouting and sassing him while she kept up with her little hits. "You make it very difficult."

"Regardless of your level of success, it's veeery naughty to murder someone," he reprimanded her, attempting to add a more suggestive tone in his voice to pair with that impish smile. 

Carmen wasn't picking up on it and was clearly forgetting the humor of the situation as she kept whacking against that shaggy fur, mumbling, "Fine, I'm bad. I don't care."

Suddenly, he grabbed her wrists to stop her strikes, and his voice dropped into that playful tone from before as he smirked down at her.

"Oh my, you _have_ been bad this year, haven't you?" Rod purred, "You keep this up, I'll have no choice but to take you."

Carmen's eyes suddenly widened and her jaw went slack, looking back up at Rod incredulously. "Oh, ho ho," Carmen sighed and backed away to release her hands, a little testy at him still but finally understanding his tone.

She approached him again, standing on her toes with her hands on her hips. It was a clear test if he had ever seen one. "And what are _you_ gonna do about it, if I don't?"

The Austrian kept the facade in as he continued, trying his hardest not to laugh at its absurdity, "Don't make me get the sack and stick, you naughty thing," he sassed her. 

"Oh, don't make me laugh!” Carmen shook her head, smiling in that wide way that showed she was holding back what had to have been a cackle, on her part. “What are you gonna do when Roli gets off the bus in the next thirty minutes and sees Krampus stealing his mamá away?" 

That devilish grin overtook him before he lowered the mask again. “Well," he said in a muffled voice, quickly bending his knees to swipe her up in a fireman carry before ascending the stairs, "I guess I'll just have to take you _now_ , then, won't I?"

The squeak she released from the sudden change devolved into over-the-top, sarcastic exclamations, especially as he bounced her a little for the show of it. "Oh, you _devil!_ You _brute!_ You _monster!_ You _animal!_ " 

The creature, having way too much fun in the part, took the pretty-haired lady’s responses as an excuse to smack her butt, which Carmen nearly lost it at. "Oh my, tsk tsk tsk," he countered, "It looks like someone needs a spanking!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End


End file.
